My philosophy with wedding planning is simple -- just let the woman have what she wants as long as it doesn't involve future shame. Engagement photos are future shame.

Even if the engagement photo is normal, twenty years from now, it will look ridiculous. Won't the horribly comical wedding photos be enough? Do we really need a photo to remind the world there is more awful photos to come?

People still take awful and awkward engagement photos and there is nothing I can do to stop them...so...I'll just make fun of them and hope it prevents future photos.

  • After they get married, she won't even want to look at his cannon

  • Oh deer, what a dumb buck

  • He's accustomed to the fish smell

  • Just hope you don't get multiple lives

  • Their Garden of Eden involves trailer hitches

  • If that's Spider-Man, the bad guys win

  • They met at a Port-O-John at a Dave Matthews show. It's the same place they conceived their first kid.

  • We'll just assume they don't have sex

  • Not the last time he'll piss her off

  • That's it, we're getting the yard sprayed for bugs

  • Actually, this one is kind of funny

  • I would have just shot him and mounted his head

  • "We said, is this the drive-thru clinic?!?"

  • At least he doesn't have to worry about getting hit in the balls since he lost his when they started dating

  • Are they making a poop joke? Ca-lassy

  • That's his nickname for her vagina

  • Eh, throw her back

  • According to her lab tests, there should be an H in there too

  • Nailed it