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‘Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’, ‘Futurama’ and ‘Comedy Bang! Bang!’ — Check It Or Chuck It

It’s a new week, and it’s loaded with awesome things like vampires, robots and self-righteous Aaron Sorkin characters. You have NO REASON to be bored! Read on for a list of five things to “check,” and five things to “chuck” this week, including ‘Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter,’ ‘Futurama’ and ‘Comedy Bang! Bang!’

Tim Burton Productions

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Finally, the secret story of the 16th President’s bloody battle against the undead hits the big screen! Honestly, we have no idea if this movie will deliver in terms of character and story, but it’s sure to offer plenty of fun and inventive horror-action madness, especially with ‘Nightwatch’ and ‘Wanted’ director Timur Bekmambetov behind the camera. Still not sold? Consider this: The lovely Mary Elizabeth Winstead plays Mary Todd Lincoln. IN 3D! ‘Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’ opens Friday.

The Newsroom

‘West Wing’ and ‘Sports Night’ creator Aaron Sorkin heads back to the tube with this promising HBO drama that takes a behind-the-scenes look at a cable news channel, premiering Sunday night. Sorkin’s shows are always worth watching (even the failures) for their ambition, clever dialogue and pitch-perfect casting. This time, Jeff Daniels leads a cast that includes Alison Pill, Olivia Munn, Emily Mortimer and Sam Waterston.

Inside Men

After the engrossing ‘Luther’ and the inventive  ‘Sherlock,’ we’ve become big fans of BBC’s America’s dark and clever crime shows. The Beeb’s latest offering, a four-part miniseries premiering Wednesday night, stars ‘Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels’ actor Steven Mackintosh as the head of a trio of regular guys turned bank robbers.

Comedy Bang! Bang!

We’ve failed to mention IFC’s new must-watch comedy talk show on this list over the past few weeks. Bad us! Now it’s time to make things right … Based on the Earwolf podcast of the same name, ‘Comedy Bang! Bang!’ host Scott Aukerman and music man/co-host Reggie Watts welcome funny celebs to sit, chat and deliver some of the most brilliantly bizarre improv comedy performances you’ll ever see on TV. Check out ‘Mad Men’ star Jon Hamm on this Friday’s episode.

Futurama Season Premiere

Bender and the gang return to Comedy Central for Season 7 on Wednesday night. The season premiere finds Bender grappling with the idea of fatherhood after he impregnates a soda machine. Hey, it’s the future, anything can happen!

Lifetime Television

Bristol Palin: Life’s a Tripp

This is our top Hate Watch pick for the week. We don’t recommend watching Tuesday night’s premiere of Lifetime’s Bristol Plain reality show, we recommend glaring at it in anger and disappointment while hurling obscenities, and maybe a few tomatoes, at the screen. Invite your parents, it’ll be fun!

The Big Miracle

Here are a few simple words and phrases that should keep you away form this new feature DVD release: “Family drama.” “Whales. “From the director of ‘Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.’” Are we done here?

Love Birds

Lucky for you, this is the brand of lowbrow romantic chick flick, new on DVD, that even your wife or girlfriend will ignore, so you probably won’t have to sit through it. Unless, of course, your girlfriend or wife finds New Zealand comic Rhys Darby irresistible. (Yeah, we didn’t think so.)

Baby Daddy

Sometimes ABC Family surprises us with smart, funny and original shows that defy the usual conventions of “family TV.” ‘Baby Daddy,’ about a douchey single dude who is surprised to learn he’s a dad, premiering Wednesday, is not one of those shows.

The Glass House

ABC’s new reality series, premiered Monday, is just like ‘Big Brother,’ but with more Twitter and Facebook references. Just what we always wanted (but not really)!

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