Drew Weisholtz is an award-winning writer who has had his work published on several websites, including GuySpeed, StarCrush.com and theFW.com. Previously, he has written and served as a producer for ABC News Radio and also spent time as a stand-up comedian. He can be found rooting for his beloved Yankees and Giants and begrudgingly holds out hope his Rutgers Scarlet Knights will one day return to the NCAA Tournament. When that's not consuming him, he passes time quoting "Saved By the Bell" and making fun of his in-laws. You can follow him on Twitter.
Horny Deaf Old Man Fined for Watching Porn Way Too Loud
Where does this guy get off?
Slightly Off-Kilter Teen Tries to Burn Down 43-Year-Old Boyfriend’s House
Well, here's the case against dating a younger woman.
Alcoholics, Rejoice — The 1,000-Pack of Beer Has Arrived
There's buying in bulk and then there's this.
Husband Wakes Up Wife on Her Birthday With Orchestra Playing ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ Theme
As far as romantic gestures go, this one is pretty, pretty, pretty good.
World’s Saddest Hooker Offers Sex for Chicken McNuggets
McNuggets have met McLovin'.
Imbecile Fakes Hijacking Story to Get Out of Vacation With Mistress
The only thing that blew up was this guy's plans, right in his face.
Distracted Kid on Bike Slams Into Wall While Reading Strip Club Ad
Always keep your eyes on the road.
The Ol’ Eel in the Anus Fix Does Not Solve Constipation
This must've eel-y hurt.
Smitten Girl Sends Powerpoint to Crush About Why He Should Date Her. She’s Still Single.
When it comes to using technology to find love, maybe stop at Tinder, huh?
Man Arrested for Dropping an F-Bomb in Front of Old Lady
The guy is looking at a punishment much worse than having his mouth washed out with soap.
Drug-Sniffing Lizard Is on the Case…Or Is It?
Drug-sniffing dogs are so yesterday.
Woman Inexplicably Gets Her Hand Stuck in Her Toilet
This woman was plum(ber) out of luck.
Woman Dominates Arcade Basketball Like No One Ever Has
The phrase "shoot the lights out" comes to mind while watching this hoopster.
Teen’s Quest for Free Wendy’s Chicken Nuggets May Break Twitter
The Internet is here to help make sure this kid keeps his stomach -- and his wallet -- full.
This Guy’s Mug Shot Is Pure Bonkersness
Guilt may not be written all over his face, but lunacy sure is.
You Can Now Get Paid $17,000 to Stay in Bed for 2 Straight Months
Too lazy to get out of bed and look for work? Problem solved.
Cheapskate Wants You to Buy Engagement Ring for Him on GoFundMe
Love don't cost this guy a thing.
Man in Drunk Lives Matters Shirt Arrested For…Well, You Know
This guy had the perfect attire for the occasion.
Santa Claus Doppelgänger Arrested on Cocaine Charges
Ho, ho, ho meets blow blow blow.