Mike Adams is a literary slop zombie; a mutt breed of surrealism and violence; a man who likes his metal heavy and his rock southern. In May of 2007, he boldly published a book of maniacal short stories entitled ‘Toilet Bowl Soup: Redneck Tales from the Armpit of America’ - selling more than 10,000 copies worldwide. However, in 2010, he released ‘Toilet Bowl Soup: The Holy Sh*t’, which sold about 100 copies - if you count close friends, relatives and other people who felt sorry for him. Mike Adams also co-stars in the films ‘Watch Out’, ‘Phone Sex’, ‘Wamego: Ultimatum’, and ‘Trust Me’. He has also contributed music to the movie “It Came from Trafalgar” starring Hank Williams III and Gunnar Hansen from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Mike Adams currently resides in Southern Indiana where he writes for a number of Townsquare Media websites, HIGH TIMES, Playboy's The Smoking Jacket, and Hustler magazine.
Mike Adams
Thanks, Science: Cutting Whiskey With Diet Soda Gets You Hammered
To the wild-eyed booze enthusiast, it is a sometimes-necessary evil to cut 80 proof whiskey with diet soda, to keep that girlish figure without having to throw your balls up over your shoulders and just do shots. Good news, friends -- it's also an efficient way to get tanked.
Tough Day, Bro — Dude Gets Abducted By Aliens and Charged With DUI
While there is no scientific proof that the consumption of mass quantities of alcohol will render a person completely insane, there is certainly no shortage of case studies within this mad, mad world to build a strong argument against it. See above.
Man Gets Stinking Rich From Stinking, Awful Whale Poop
It is hard enough to fathom, much less accept as truth, that some of the most expensive and luxurious fragrances in the world are produced using giant wads of sea dung, but it's true.
Prison Epidemic: DIY Penis Implants
There is a bizarre new phenomenon gaining some momentum in correctional facilities around the world that supersedes all other twisted anomalies commonly found in the underworld of the prison system; even toilet ripple.
Budweiser Black Crown — Not Your Trashy Uncle’s Beer
Since the Belgians took over Anheuser-Busch four years ago, the brewer has been searching for new ways to cut costs while their mad scientists relentlessly work to develop new product lines -- including Bud Light Platinum and Bud Light Lime -- in an attempt to attract the more discriminating beer connoisseur.
Science Could Be Close to Mapping Out Alien Worlds
Scientists are making revolutionary advancements in how they study alien planets. Recently, astronomers discovered that they could use the process of reflecting starlight in order to create composite maps of unknown worlds that would enable them to define pertinent aspects of planetary life, such as land, water and clouds.
Drunken Jerk Drops Pants, Spanks Off, Sings for Police
Across the bayou, it is not difficult to find a crossbreed of stark-raving mad drunkards and dive bar sideshows aggressively humping the legs off civil society. Unfortunately, when there is nothing civilized left for these gutter fiends to devour besides the skin in between their teeth, the only hope for the rest of us is that soon the flood waters will rise again and bury these beasts at sea.
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New Research Finds Bumping Uglies Only Burns 21 Calories — Dibs on Telling Richard Simmons
If you've always lived your life by the age-old myth that you can burn 300 calories every time you knock athletic shoes with your partner in carnal knowledge, a new study suggests that you might want to start bumping uglies on a stationary bike or elliptical machine – recent findings show the average person only burns roughly 21 calories while barely sweating it out in the sack.
Sorry Honey, Can’t Load the Dishwasher Because A New Study Says Men Who Help With Housework Get Less Sex
Married men who kiss up to their old ladies by helping out with the housework are less likely to be bumping uglies with that same misses at the end of the night, according to a new study.
We’re Confused: There Are Actually Men Out There Who Make Excuses to Not Have Sex?
What man in his right mind turns down the opportunity to organ wrestle with a beautiful girl? According to a recent survey, nearly 60% of men have made up excuses for not wanting to bone their old ladies - ranging from being too busy playing ‘Call of Duty’ to suffering from a gluttonous hangover after an exhibition bout with an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Real Bionic Man May Hold Answer to Immortality in His Creepy Bionic Hands
Scientists recently constructed a bionic man using artificial limbs and organs, to be featured in a television documentary about the evolution of technology. However, this creepy robo-bastage is not half as charming as the Six Million Dollar Man, played by 1970’s action hero Lee Majors. Then again, it did only cost about a sixth of that price tag to build this one.
New DNA Gun Tags Criminals to Be Picked Up At a Later Time
An urban menagerie of riotous, alley trollops and pistol-whipping thugs can mean rough business for a local police department without enough personnel to efficiently round up all of the scoundrels in one fell swoop. Luckily for them, there is now a new, high-tech DNA gun to help officers battle the now fallible theory behind strength in numbers...
Best Nursing Home Ever Brings In Prostitutes for the Elderly
To the untrained eye, the geriatric world may seem like one full of applesauce dinners, clabber tournaments and bulky adult diapers, but it's also a lustful society of seniors looking to get their wrinkled balls-a-bouncing on nearly anything that moves.
Well This is Unexpected — Black Plague Still Kills In the United States
Believe it or not, the Black Death, which is responsible for killing somewhere around 75 million to 200 million people in the mid-fourteenth century, still claims the lives of citizens here in the United States every year. What’s interesting is not that there are still regular cases of the bubonic plague popping up around the American southwest, but that the reason this threat still exists is all
Major Bomb Threat! German Soldiers Are Growing Boobs
German soldiers may soon be wearing training bras as part of their regulation battle fatigues. That’s because men in the German military have started to develop breasts as the result of a high intensity training program in which they are forced to slap their battalions repeatedly across the left side of their bodies.
New App Wants You to Start Banging Your Facebook Friends
Social networking has always been a way to anonymously spy on people you wish you were hooking up with, but now it can be a tool to help make it actually happen.
Star 1000x Larger Than the Sun Set to Collide With Interstellar Wall and Oh God What is an Interstellar Wall?!
Not only is the famed Betelgeuse star set to burn out the remainder of its astronomical life, but it is also on an immediate crash course with a ginormous interstellar wall. Thanks science, we were just saying earlier how we never wanted to sleep ever again!
Thousands of Crocodiles Escape Local Farm and Terrorize Residents
The meanest streets in the world don’t have anything on the Limpopo province of South Africa, where literally thousands of crocodiles are roaming freely about the town after escaping a local farm plagued by rampant flood waters.
Man Arrested for Barbecuing His Neighbor’s Dogs
Right now as you read this, there exists a twisted underworld of red-eyed bendecos scouring the Earth with gnashed teeth, just looking to blitzkrieg the neighbor’s dog house in search for their next meal. And while some of the fiendish, culinary downtrodden cannot help but consume their four-legged kills with the fur still intact; the less animalistic prefer their dogs barbecued.
Solar Flare Produces Heat of 7 Million Degrees
A high resolution, ultraviolet telescope (Hi-C) that inadvertently captured a 90-mile solar eruption on the Sun, earlier this week, may hold the answers to the perplexing question as to why the surface of the sun has significantly lower temperatures than the outer most part of its atmosphere...