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Be Careful of Penis Enlargement Procedures, Doctors Might Just Be Injecting You With Olive Oil

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No matter what anyone says, the size of our junk does matter. Ladies do take notice, and it’s the gateway to our manhood. See, the whole smallest penis contest thing a few weeks back was just a strategic move on Apple’s part to reach a wider audience. That market being consumers with teeny wienies. Because of this pressure we’re feeling to have substantial packages, it’s sometimes important to make small sacrifices to enhance one’s main vein.

Over in Bangkok, there’s a whole slew of illegal enhancement clinics that tons of guys go to for a little boost down south. Why are they illegal? For starters, they inject your junk with olive oil. Initially this sounds like it could also make things pretty tasty for our ladies, so it’d be a win-win, right? Well, turns out filling your penis with olive oil isn’t so good after all. We probably missed that episode of Dr. Oz.

One Thai guy underwent this procedure about five years ago, and all seemed fine until he got a cut down there. Basically, the man didn’t seek any treatment, the wound got worse and his D swelled up “to the size of a coconut,” which would be awesome if you were in the market for a coconut-sized package! But unfortunately, the dude has cancer and his penis had to be removed.

Guess we’ll just have to stick with our fraudulent penis pumps for now.

NEXT: 80-YEAR-OLD DENIED SERVICE AT HOOTERS BECAUSE HE DIDN’T HAVE HIS ID

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