Biker Stumbles Across Massive Gang of Kangaroos, Invents Your New Nightmare
Warning: Some NSFW audio.
If your pet kangaroo ran away at some point recently, we have a pretty good idea of where it went. (Speaking of which, what are you doing with a pet kangaroo? That’s a wild animal, man. That can’t be legal.)
Anyway, this guy named Ben was biking through a park in Australia when he happened to come across not one kangaroo, not two, but literally hundreds of the hoppers. They just kinda stare at him blankly, eerily. “I’m gonna be honest, I’m a little terrified,” he says, echoing our thoughts as we watched. He then continues to ride along the road, passing more and more of the creatures, who appear perfectly calm yet capable of pouncing on Ben at any moment (though maybe that’s just us being paranoid).
He asks, “Should I be going down here?”
NO! TURN AROUND, BEN! GO BACK BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE—
And then they charged him, their attack coupled with the horrific shrieks of a furious band of marsupial marauders. We see the camera fall to the ground sideways, and Ben was never seen nor heard from again.
(Just kidding. He’s fine. He even wants everyone to know how peaceful kangaroos are. “Kangaroos are nice animals who don’t gather like hordes and attack people, they coexist with people and never attack them,” he writes. “This video is proof.”)