Introducing Brogurt — For Guys Who Eat Yogurt. All Eleven of Them

Brogurt is here. It's yogurt for guys. It's the food every man has been praying for. No exaggeration. Waiting, literally sitting on stools, in the cooler section of our local grocery.

So what's in it like shards of glass, NASCAR crash footage, naked photos of Olivia Munn, chocolate and lengthy opinions on sports?

Please do explain makers of Brogurt...

"In a niche typically dominated by female consumers, a new Greek yogurt specifically suited to address the unique health and nutrition needs of the most neglected consumers in the category: men."

The product that sounds more like a fraternity code word for male ejaculate promises to be "high-protein and no-fat" and now it REALLY sounds like...nevermind.

Seriously though, I want to put a hand on your knee and thank you sincerely for finally addressing the male consumers of yogurt because we've all been like "WHY? WHY ONLY FUR CHICKS?!? LIKE YOGURT!! ESPECIALLY BRAND THAT KEEPS MY POOPY MOVING!"

You've answered our neanderthal cries.