If we didn’t down our morning cups of coffee, our days would be like Darryl Droppings’-- it would feel like pigeons were sharting on us the entire day.

Unfortunately the stuff doesn’t really do much for us anymore (besides making our sexual mustard taste a little bitter, but whatever), probably because we’ve become immune to the fifth caffeine jolt. We need to add some zing to our morning routines, and according to our women, 6 AM quickies are out of the question. Fortunately, we’ve discovered the solution to sluggish commutes -- a cup of crap. No, seriously.

Over in Indonesia, “kopi luwak”, or cat poop coffee, is the hot drink for all caffeine addicts. Basically, the cat-like Asian palm civet eats coffee beans, the animal craps the beans out the other end, and feces coffee hunters collect said beans for harvesting.

Tempted to scope out this tasty brew? Four ounces will cost you a cool $60, aka $10 per cup. We’d never pay over $3 for the plain stuff, but when cat poop is involved, hell-- we’ll shell out some green. Since the craze hasn’t hit America yet, we’re really intrigued by this whole process. Apparently, going through the animal’s intestinal tract creates smoother java. But how does the civet’s crap become so magically delicious? Who knows.

Finally, a coffee that literally makes your breath smell like ass?