NASA Rovers Draw Penis Graffiti on Mars, Aliens Are Amused
We’ve heard of space junk, but this is just ridiculous.
Science
Study Finds Black Sabbath Helps Plants Grow
If you intend to show the wicked world a cornucopia of green thumb power this gardening season (and you probably don't, but keep reading) you had better start exposing your precious sweet leaf to plenty of Black Sabbath.
Happy Earth Day! Save the Endangered Animals!
Happy Earth Day, friends.
Stephen Hawking Says Mankind Can’t Survive on Earth More Than Another 1,000 Years
Renowned astrophysicist Stephen Hawking says the human race is doomed, unless we figure out how to leave Earth behind in the next 1,000 years.
Best Study Ever Tells Women to Stop Wearing Bras
In yet another case of science benefitting humanity, a group of French researchers have found that wearing a bra actually makes women’s breasts saggier over time. SOLD! No more bras!
Study Links Home Run Hitting To Face Size
As we are always reminded: size matters, and you know what they say about a guy with a really big face? He's a home run hitter.
Apollo 10 Mission Transcripts Explains Incident With ‘Floating Poop’
Apollo 10, the 1969 around-the-moon space mission, is back in the news after transcripts resurfaced which explain, in graphic detail, about a "close encounter with the turd kind."
Best Study Ever Suggests 106 Minutes of Sex a Day and Only 36 Minutes of Work
New research shows that if you want to reach optimal happiness, you need to strive for having the "ideal day." Ok, this seems super obvious, but what isn’t obvious -- or in practice very much in our culture -- is what the “ideal day” really is. You'll like the answer.
March Is the Best Time to Uh, Come In Like a Lion
Regardless of whether you get it on in a filthy bathroom stall or a five-star hotel room, there isn't really a bad place to have sex, as far as we're concerned. However, a new study suggests that the month of March may actually be the best time of the year to do the deed.
Scientists Say Life Is Possible on Jupiter’s Europa Moon
Scientists believe that the key to discovering extraterrestrial life could lie deep in the festering, underground oceans of Jupiter’s ice-covered moon Europa. New research suggests that if the salt water ocean beneath the surface of the frigid moon ever makes it's way to the surface, creating an intergalactic petri dish capable of producing a life-promoting environment.