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What the #@$&!? Ohio Curses More Than Any State in America

Drew Weisholtz — Fri, 17 May 2013 17:44:42 +0000

Words cannot describe how awful the language the people of Ohio use. Well, words we can’t say without getting our mouths washed out with soap, anyway. In a strange new survey, Ohio has “bleeped” its way to the top as the state where people curse the most. On the less salty front is Washington, which [...]

Today's Life Winner: The Genius Who Got Stuck in a McDonald's High Chair

Drew Weisholtz — Thu, 16 May 2013 20:00:57 +0000

We like to imagine that the third cop in the foreground has moved behind our stuck friend, because he is laughing too hard at him. Police in Cork, Ireland recently had to be called away from fighting (Irish) crime to help a man who got stuck in a high chair meant for a toddler. As [...]

What American City Was Just Named the 'Laziest'?

Drew Weisholtz — Thu, 16 May 2013 12:55:34 +0000

America is known for its obesity crisis and penchant for lounging on the couch instead of getting up and doing anything physical. As it turns out, some cities perpetuate that stereotype more than others. Men’s Health magazine has finally answered the age old question “What are the laziest cities in the country?” For the sake [...]

Now Hiring — Want to Be the Captain of the Titanic 2?

Wes Glinsmann — Wed, 15 May 2013 13:14:33 +0000

Very rarely are sequels as good as the original but in the case of the Titanic, the second attempt has nowhere to go but up so the Titanic II is looking for a captain. Australian billionaire Clive Palmer has announced plans to build a replica of the ill-fated cruise ship (updated with modern amenities, of [...]

You Won't Believe Where the Sexiest People in the World Can Be Found

Drew Weisholtz — Tue, 14 May 2013 20:06:24 +0000

Cash in those frequent flier miles, boys, and book your flight to Bogota. A new survey from MissTravel.com has found that Columbia is home to the sexiest women in the world. Because we know you want to, go ahead and insert your Sophia Vergara/Shakira joke here. Good, now let’s continue. You don’t have to travel [...]

Possibly Drunk High School Umpire Passes Out On Field, Fights Medics, Gets Tased and Arrested

Joe Student — Tue, 14 May 2013 19:44:51 +0000

C’mon, Blue: you’re seeing double out there! An Illinois high school umpire passed out on the field of a game while he was umpiring last Friday. Prior to the nap, spectators say Daryl Jacobson, 49, was “visibly under the influence.” When medics came to assist Jacobson, witnesses say he fought them off to the point [...]

Man Breaks Into Supermarket and Eats 57 Cans of Whipped Cream

Drew Weisholtz — Tue, 14 May 2013 18:35:29 +0000

Trevor Runyon took a trip to the grocery store no one will soon forget. Runyon, 30, was arrested for breaking into a supermarket overnight in Mount Washington, Kentucky and enjoying the type of culinary bonanza usually reserved for Russian weddings. The manager of ValuMarket walked into work on Monday morning to find 57 empty whipped [...]

Scathing Hipster-Hating 'Hipster House' Ad Placed On Craigslist

Joe Student — Mon, 13 May 2013 19:18:37 +0000

Someone in Baton Rouge, LA just escalated the war on Hipsters. While the Louisiana city isn’t as synonymous with the Hipster movement as places like Portland, OR or Brooklyn, NY a landlord there couldn’t help but reach out to those of Hipster ilk interested in renting his house in an excessively scathing, condescending rental ad [...]

Panic Ensues As Economy Hurts Nevada Brothel Business

Joe Student — Sun, 12 May 2013 19:00:27 +0000

Forget about the housing market, the unemployment rate and the price of gas, the lingering effects of the recent global recession has caused the legalized brothel business in Nevada to go limp. According to a New York Daily Ne

Lion-Meat Tacos Cause Uproar at Florida Restaurant

Wes Glinsmann — Sat, 11 May 2013 14:50:07 +0000

We’ve all had those late-night “run for the border” cravings for a taco. But would you still be hungry if your taco was made out of . . . lion? Taco Fusion, an upscale eatery in Tampa, FL, recently made that quandary a reality when they added lion-meat tacos to the menu. The restaurant, which [...]

1965 Ferrari 330GT Belonging to John Lennon Going Up For Auction

Wes Glinsmann — Fri, 10 May 2013 18:42:07 +0000

John Lennon got his driver’s license just after The Beatles had become the biggest band in the world. So it’s probably not a surprise that his first ride was a little fancier than yours. Lennon’s first car will be going up on the auction block in July. In February 1965, The Beatles had just finished [...]

Moms Eat for Free at Hooters on Mother's Day, It's the Guilt That Will Cost You

Drew Weisholtz — Thu, 09 May 2013 19:36:19 +0000

Worried about where to take your mom on Mother’s Day to show her just how much you appreciate her? Well, Hooters is here to help. The popular chain is letting moms eat for free this Mother’s Day at every one of its 355 locations throughout the US. Oh, sure, it’s only for an entrée up [...]

Shorts Season is Here — You Can Tell Because It's Written on Butts!

GuySpeed Editors — Thu, 09 May 2013 17:00:34 +0000

It’s here, pals. It’s finally here. There were a couple of dark years where short shorts — our favorite part of summer — took a backseat to something terrible called “Capri Pants.” Those days are behind us, friends. As summer 2013 approaches, we’re seeing a whole lot of leg, and we’re stoked about it; as [...]

Woman Poops. On a Subway Elevator. While Camera Catches Her

Drew Weisholtz — Thu, 09 May 2013 15:56:22 +0000

There’s really no clever way to say this, so we’ll just come out and say it: a woman in China was caught on-camera pooping on an elevator in a subway station. The video has gone viral in the country and left us to wonder just how bad the public restrooms are there. The woman hunkers [...]

Bear Vs. Monkey Bike Race Ends as You Might Expect

Jackie Mancini — Thu, 09 May 2013 15:00:55 +0000

Disney lied to us; bears and monkeys are not friends. Trigger warning/spoiler alert: This video ends very poorly for the monkey, if you get our meaning. I have a couple of questions, after watching this video: 1)How would someone go about getting tickets to a bear vs. monkey bicycle race? Asking for a friend. 2)Why do [...]

Say Hello To Our New Little Friend — 'Scarface' Impersonator Had 6-Hour Standoff With Cops

Jackie Mancini — Thu, 09 May 2013 14:00:35 +0000

Sometimes crazy people have standoffs with cops; it happens. Crazy people in L.A., though? They always want to “do it in character.” At around 10pm on Tuesday evening, cops were called to a Hollywood apartment complex, where they found “Tony Montana” (complete with pimp suit) up on the balcony, waving a machete around and screamin’ [...]

Dad Not Invited to Picnic Sets House on Fire Because That's the Most Reasonable Thing to Do

Drew Weisholtz — Wed, 08 May 2013 20:27:03 +0000

A man in a Poland has found himself to be a favorite in the contest for “overreaction of the year.” Czeslaw Kaminski, 69, blew up his home because his wife and kids went to a picnic without him. That’s right — instead of realizing he was being given the elusive gift of peace and quiet, [...]

Researchers Claim 'Vampire Treatment' a Bloody Successful Cure for Baldness

Mike Adams — Tue, 07 May 2013 18:00:52 +0000

Not since the invention of spray-on hair a treatment for baldness been so frightening. Researchers at the International Hair Research Foundation and University of Brescia in Italy claim they’ve discovered a method for successfully re-growing a man’s receding kwaffer that involves injecting a patient with a concoction produced by samples of their own blood – [...]

Groundhog Threatens New Jersey Little League

Joe Student — Tue, 07 May 2013 17:08:25 +0000

An enormous groundhog terrorized a New Jersey Little League complex, broke out of captivity after being captured and was still at-large on Tuesday. Really. On Saturday afternoon in Bridgeton, N.J., some kids saw a groundhog on a parking lot near the Bridgeton Little League fields. When the kids tried to get a better look at [...]

Guy Cancels Pizza Pickup Because Hockey Game Went into Overtime

Wes Glinsmann — Tue, 07 May 2013 12:57:46 +0000

Sports fans have a lower threshold for the word “emergency.” While most people reserve the term for events like heart attacks, major world crises and running out of toilet paper, sports fans know that true emergencies are things like double overtime and last minute drives. So you can forgive one loyal hockey fan for having to change dinner plans based on the fortunes of his favorite team.