Name: Darryl Droppings, "The Pied Piper of Flying Rats"

Location: Washington Square Park, Manhattan

Occupation: Professional spectacle.

Hobbies: Making new friends and "sending messages to them." (Unfortunately, these birds are not trained to deliver messages, so all correspondence has gone unanswered thus far.)

5 Things He Can’t Live Without: A bag of stale bread, wet naps, and his trusty bandana is all this dude really needs to get by.

Skills: "Training pigeons" (yelling at them), stain-removal, advanced origami.

His Motto: "A bird in the hand is worth several dozen all over my entire body, but I'll take either."

HEY, GUYS! This is not a real profile. It was made up for the sheer entertainment that comes from browsing through pictures of, well, hot messes. BTW! If you or someone you know should be one of our Hot Messes of the Day, send us a quick email at jackie [@] guyspeed.com.