Dolphin Tries to Have Sex with Diver
Michael Maes has an awesome job-- he’s an underwater videographer living in the Grand Cayman Island. You know, he’s one of those guys who gets to swim with sharks and all that stuff. But a recent underwater expedition proved his job isn't always fun and games. Actually, it was an extremely twisted sort of fun and games.
Maes was just doing his routine scuba diver thing when he came across ‘Stinky the Loner Dolphin.' Don’t get all sympathetic for this friendless animal just yet; there’s a legitimate reason the lady dolphins stay away from him. Basically, the mammal has gained a rep for being extra horny and getting pretty frisky with divers. As Maes’ luck would have it, Stinky was feeling particularly aroused this day, and things got weird really, really quickly.
The dolphin started getting all "sexually aggressive" on the diver. In dolphin terms, this means intensely rubbing up against Maes while pushing him down to the ocean floor. Don’t get us wrong-- we’re all for getting a little rough, but when the humper is a mammal with its dolphin junk displayed loudly and proudly, we’d get a little weirded out.
After Stinky finished with Maes, he went to town on his diver friend. Neither of the guys were hurt in this nightmare-inducing sexual encounter, but both we're a little upset here. The worst part was Stinky never called either of them back. Must have been on porpoise.