The 10 Hottest Women Ever on ‘Family Guy’
A couple months ago, we showed you the 10 Hottest Women on ‘The Simpsons’. We failed to include leading lady Marge who has a Playboy cover and a Maxim spread under her belt. Despite those credentials, Marge just doesn’t do it for us – maybe it’s the hair or her unflattering fashion sense.
We decided to take a look at another popular animated series that, many believe, rips off (or at least owes a lot to) Springfield’s Funniest Family Unit – Family Guy. We’ve combed through every episode of every season to bring you the 10 finest figures that artists – both professional and not – love to draw nude. We’ll just say there’s a LOT of interesting search results on Google Images.
Before we begin the countdown, we’ll be straight up with you – there’s no Lois. We know, it’s a crime. She’s certainly had her share of sexy moments, but she can’t compare to our picks.
Misty appeared in one scene during the fourth episode of the first season, titled, “Mind Over Murder”. That’s all it took for us to fall in lust. If your memory needs jogging, she was the busty blonde who sat next to a visibly drunk Stewie at Peter’s bar ‘Ye Olde Pube’ in the Griffins’ basement. After the evil infant mastermind broke his pencil drawing his time machine schematic, Misty gave him a special Barney pen. So hot, so clutch, so adventurous (drinking in a random dude’s basement bar?). That’s a keeper.
Dr. Amanda Rebecca
In the thirteenth episode of the second season, titled, “Road to Rhode Island”, Peter seeks help improving his relationship with Lois, so he obtains an instructional video tape series that features Dr. Amanda Rebecca, who at first appears to be a legit therapist but after ordering Lois to leave the room, transforms into a seductive sex kitten, popping off her button down and moaning. Why isn’t this instructional relationship series real?
In episode 14 of Season 10, titled, “Be Careful What You Fish For”, Stewie claims his pre-school teacher Miss Emily is negligent so he enlists Brian to report her. But, after the forever alone pooch can do so, he falls for the comely educator and decides to delay and distract until he can bed her. However, when he finds out she already has a boyfriend, he calls the cops. Has there ever been a female pre-school teacher that isn’t hot?
Season 7’s premiere titled, “Love, Blactually”, introduces us to Carolyn, an atheist Brian meets in a bookstore and dates for weeks without having sex. Why? Because he wants to have a meaningful relationship and to make her want him more. Bad move. She ends up leaving him for Cleveland, who considers marrying her before he catches her banging Quagmire. Okay, so she might have genital warts but a red hot redhead who’s down to pound and isn’t hung up on what God thinks because God doesn’t exist? Double wrap it and slap it.
The second episode of Season 4 saw the hottest teacher to ever grace the halls and classrooms of Buddy Cianci Junior High School seduce Chris into murdering her husband. However, Chris chickens out, so Lana hides a bear in his oatmeal. We later find out that the bear and Lockhart are a couple, holing up in a hotel room while on the lam as national fugitives. It’s clear the gigantic grizzly is the one in charge, which gives hope to big and tall hairy dudes around the world. We’d do horrible things to give her an A+.
The ninth episode of Season 3 titled, “Mr. Saturday Knight” saw Peter audition to become one of the knights at the Renaissance Fair, but eventually bullied to leave by the Black Knight after flirting with the champion’s trophy wench, Maid Madeleine. “Wouldst thou take a gander under my frock?” We’d joust with Will Ferrell for that pleasure and we wouldn’t even need a lance…
In the eleventh episode of Season 4 titled, “Peter’s Got Woods”, Brian attends a PTA meeting and meets Meg’s 11th grade history teacher, Shauna Parks whom he begins dating. After a failed attempt to get James Woods High School’s name changed to Martin Luther King Jr – thanks to Peter and James Woods – Shauna delivers an ultimatum, ordering Brian to choose between her or Peter. This is where your ability to lie would be HUGE.
Mother Maggie is the host of Stewie’s favorite TV show ‘Jolly Farm Revue’. Diehard fans will cry out, “Which one?!? The British version or the American?” To that we say, ‘both’. It’s the character we’re attracted to not the actresses playing her (as long as they’re hot and use a soothing voice). Although, we guess if we had to choose we’d go with the British one, she’s got a foul mouth and smokes. And, if she smokes, she pokes. And that foul mouth will be crucial for dirty talk.
Joe’s wife was preggers for a long time, which depending on your level of freakiness could be a good or a bad thing, but after she had their second child, daughter Susie, her body snapped back to knockout form. We knew she got off on some pretty twisted stuff then we recently found out she was a stripper who even built Joe a handicapped sex swing. Though she remains fairly calm, she’s given us brief peaks at her wild side.
Jillian’s your stereotypical hot dumb blonde who Brian dated throughout the fifth season and into the sixth. To date, she’s the longest running relationship Brian’s ever had and it’s easy to see why – you can pretty much convince her to do just about anything. Brian got fed up with her stupidity and dumped her but regretted doing so. She quickly rebounded and got married. Brian really shouldn’t worry, just tell Jillian that the rules of marriage only apply indoors and take her to a field somewhere.