Gold Plated Poop — For the Man That Has Absolutely Everything

We have all met at least one trust fun kid that not only thinks his turds smell better than the average man but that their nuggets are even covered in gold. Now, thanks to a disturbing artistic creation, the legend of the gold plated duke wreath is now a reality. Yes, we are talking about gold poop.

In 2005, artists Tobias Wong and Ken Courtney designed a pill for the sole purpose of turning the fecal matter of wealthy kids with discriminating taste into gold. As part of the 'Indulgence' luxury line, the gold poop pills were created for “the man who has absolutely everything” and were featured in a twisted collection of pseudo-art commissioned by the Museum of Modern Art in San Francisco.

Surprisingly, the real shocker is not that there are actually people in this world with a mad scientist desire to turn last night’s dinner into a gold brick, but that they would spend hundreds of dollars to do it. A single, 20mm gold poop pill costs $425, according to the Citizen online store. However, there is some bad news for individuals desperately wanting to make farthouse gold – the pill is “currently unavailable.”

More disturbing than artists who experiment with the combination of gold and human dung are those art connoisseurs crazy enough to buy it. Gold plated fecal matter has sold for as much as $500,000 in the art community.

For those of you still determined to go panning for toilet gold, might we suggest doing shots of Goldschlager instead?