‘Overly Attached Girlfriend’ Meme in Real Life – Hot Mess of the Day

Name: The Real “Overly Attached Girlfriend”

Occupation: Part-time activist, part-time ungrateful boyfriend bounty hunter

Catch Phrase: “I had a cheating boyfriend… HAD.”

Interests: Sunshine, rainbows, paranoia, horoscopes, matches, the book ‘Disabling Smoke Detectors for Dummies’ by Ivana Shankmen (sound it out).

Hobbies: Falling in love (constantly), protecting Mother Earth, redecorating, thinking my boyfriend is hooking up with every girl he looks at, burning myself with the flame from candles… so I can feel SOMETHING.

What I’m doing with my life: Trying out different online dating websites. I know the right guy is out there for me, but I just keep meeting all these pee brains. Oh well, at least they got what was coming to them.

5 things I can’t live without: Plan B, emergency passport, electric shaver (in case I need to cut off all my hair and become a completely different person for some reason), body bag (for my laundry, obviously), my boyfriend’s smile.

The first thing people notice about me is: They don’t. If they did notice me, I wouldn’t be able to sneak up and plant my secret GPS tracking device on them so I can keep an eye on things and take the necessary actions if a certain someone was to — how should I say? — stray from the flock.

NEXT: Meet the Parents of the Year

HEY, GUYS! This is not a real profile. It was made up for the sheer entertainment that comes from browsing through pictures of, well, hot messes. BTW! If you or someone you know should be one of our Hot Messes of the Day, send us a quick email.