Name: Miss Proportionate

Occupation: Student somewhere warm (right after community college graduation)

Interests: Tanning, sangria, weaves, working out, CVS-brand hair dyes, Marshall's and duh! boys.

Hobbies: Drinking Red Bull, shots of Bacardi, taking photos of myself in front of the mirror, Red Bull, going to the tanning salon... Did I mention I like Red Bull? I can't remember, I'm too hopped up on Red Bull.

What I'm doing with my life: Currently, I'm a member of the L-Cappa-Cappa-Beta-Sangria-Alpha-Sigh sorority, where I'm head of the construction paper poster committee.

What are 5 things you can't live without?: Dollar shots, Red Bull, Twitter, self tanner (just in case I can't get to the salon) and Valtrex.

What's the first thing people notice about you?: Um... probably my huge eyes. I have gorgeous eyes.



HEY, GUYS! This is not a real profile. It was made up for the shear entertainment that comes from browsing through pictures of, well, hot messes. And Ladies! If you or someone you know should be one of our Hot Messes of the Day, send us a quick email.