10 People Who You’ll Meet at Every Party
Ah, our house party days of yore. So many stimuli, so many great memories and so many more memories that alcohol and traumatizing experiences have wiped clean from our minds forever. Every party is made up of a wide range of personalities and here we touch upon some of the most memorable. Do you know any party-goers like these?
The Toilet Hugger
This chick always manages to drink too much and get her(damn)self sick. The nice thing is that, like a lead singer who makes it to the microphone just in time to sing the next verse, she always makes it to the toilet at the precise moment she needs to.
The Budding Alcoholic
For some reason this guy goes from mild-mannered, decent dude into a drunk jerk through the mysterious magic of the almighty six-pack. Shaming women for being sluts, picking fights and worst of all, drinking your last beer make this dude one you may want to think twice about inviting to the next rager.
This girl craves attention like no one else you’re ever seen, and nobody taught her the difference between the good kind and the bad kind. She’ll get way too drunk, way too fast, and most definitely text someone she shouldn’t. If her ex shows up to the party, the fun really begins.
Guy No One Invited
No one knows exactly how he got there. Who knows him? Someone must, right? And then his friends show up looking like they just finished their shift at the local carnival. They’ve brought the ‘weird’ to the party and there’s just no safe way to ask them to leave. Hide your women, the freaks have come to town.
The Guy That Passes Out Early
This is the guy that doesn’t know the meaning of self-control. Time and time again he goes overboard, drinking to excess and passing out an hour into the party in a lawn chair. Without fail, as soon as everyone is ready to pass the eff out or go home, this dude gets a second wind.
The ‘Cool’ Parent
No matter how cool someone’s parent are, they’re still parents. When cool dad shows up to “rap” with you about “chasing skirt” and “wild keggers” you suddenly have to watch what you say and what you do, completely defeating the purpose of a good party and thoroughly killing your buzz. Hot moms are exempt from this rule.
The ‘Let’s Play a Gaaaaame!’ Girl/Guy
Parties are mostly about drinking and socializing, the precursors to getting laid, but there’s always one person who cannot relax until the party becomes a regimented tournament of structured drinking games. Don’t get us wrong, drinking games are fun, but so is sitting.
The Drunk Younger Sibling
Sometimes you’re saddled with your little brother or sister and are forced to bring them to a party. Maybe they’re 21 at a gathering of late twenty-something’s, making them of legal age to drink, but for some reason, they still drink like they’re that 15-year-old who got their hands on a bottle of rum for the first time. Once they’ve polished off the bottle like it’s Yoo-Hoo, watch out; Now you have to be responsible for their actions, and by “actions” I mean the “puke painting” they “created” on the way to the bathroom.
The Drama Duo
This couple (usually the Budding Alcoholic and Drama Queen) has no problem throwing down in public. Here’s how it usually goes: the chick gets jealous, the guy gets angry and a spectacular couple’s fight ensues on the front lawn for all to see. Everyone watches in horror, truly believing it’s over between them. Inevitably they’re found an hour later in the bathroom, passed out naked after a spirite round of make-up sex.
The Freaked-Out Host
If you’re going to have a party at your parent’s house, you should know how to handle it. Honestly, the host wouldn’t be so freaked out if he/she had party-proofed the house, made it invite-only and kept certain rooms off-limits. Unprepared for the chaos of a house party, an evening of stage dives off the banister, midget pong in the grand foyer and impromptu backyard hobo battles is probably going to send them off the deep end.