How to Avoid Being Proposed to on ‘Leap Day’
Leap Day, February 29th, only comes around every four years — like the Olympics or a healthy bowel movement. It’s really just another day on the calendar, but of course, there is some ridiculous tradition attached to the day.
Leap Day has traditionally been the one day it’s permissible for women to propose marriage to their male partners. Ugh, we come out of Valentine’s Day unscathed and now we’ve got to avoid this relationship land mine? Now we’ve got to worry about her getting down on one knee on Leap Day and NOT for the reason we were hoping. If she is going to propose, she is going to give some type of clues or hints — back in the day women who planned on proposing had to wear a bright red petticoat — but some women are going to be much less obvious.
You’ve only got a couple of options to avoid being proposed to on Leap Day. Here is the plan…
See the man hiding in the picture above? Exactly. Don’t return phone calls, emails or texts. Dig a hole in the living room floor, jump in, cover it with a throw rug and don’t come out until you’re prairie dogging. Also, in case you’re wondering, he is hiding under the magazine.
Take her for a romantic walk in the park, wait for an adorable bunny to hop close to your Lunchables picnic and introduce him to a mouthful of hot lead. Shoot a fuzzy animal right in front off her.
Commit a minor crime to get thrown in jail. Something simple like shoplifting or handing over your hard drive to authorities for them to casually browse.
Go see Wanderlust. You’ll be alone for almost two hours.
He looks like such a gentle lover. Warm. A cuddler perhaps. Remember the lube. About 55 gallons should suffice.
Can’t put on a ring with no digits. Well, you can, but it will keep falling off and it’s hard to pick something up off the ground without fingers.
You’re a jerk, who’d want to marry you anyway?