We prayed to the TV gods, and they finally answered our prayers—rewarding us with the C-SEED, a 201-inch, wet dream-inducing, monolithic magnum opus to sports freaks and glassy-eyed videoheads everywhere.

Imagine if you will, pressing a button on your sleek, double-sided remote, and out of the ground rises an imposing black obelisk, stopping at its full 15-foot height to dramatically unfurl its mammoth wings into a TV screen so huge, so bright, so jaw-droppingly impressive, that you can almost hear the air escape Jerry Jones's lungs.

Dreamed up by the mad geniuses at Porsche Design Studio, the C-SEED is not only gargantuan in its proportions (116 sq-ft of screen, weighing in at 1.4 tons), but it's packed with enough Bond-worthy tech to make even the most discriminating videophile's heart race—like a fully daylight compatible, high-resolution Retina HD LED display with a refresh rate 500 times your standard TV; electronic wind and temperature sensors to prevent damage; six broadband stereo speakers and three 700W subwoofers for distortion-free sound in all weather conditions; the ability to adjust to any height and rotate a full 270 degrees for optimum viewing; and a moisture repellent screen for all-weather watching.

But the best bit of tech is the fingerprint sensor on the remote designed to lock out anyone but you, keeping your neighbor from soiling your C-SEED by cueing up re-runs of The Golden Girls while you're on vacation.

When the show's over, it folds up and retreats to its underground, water-resistant, shaft, barely visible and hiding its tech-laden firepower until it's time to drop jaws on its next deployment—like the Navy SEAL of outdoor televisions.