Scientists say that the largest asteroid to ever come near the planet Earth is set to tea bag our modest inhabitants sometime this week.

Lucky for us, this 2.7 mile long and 1.5 mile wide asteroid, deemed the 4179 Toutatis, does not appear to be the killswitch for our civilization, as astronomers say it will be more than 4.3 million miles away from us at the point in which it is closest to the Earth - December 12.

Interestingly, the Toutatis asteroid is shaped like a shriveled up penis that has just emerged from a pool of cold water, and is said to come near the Earth every four years. This year, however, scientists say they are more eager than ever to check out the asteroid’s space balls in hopes of obtaining a better understanding of just how this twisted anomaly was made.

For all of you amateur astronomy enthusiasts, scientists say that most people will be able to view this gigantic, solar boner with the use of a typical backyard telescope as it approaches Earth.