A man named Boner, sexual harassment involving senior citizens and a petting zoo. This stuff just writes itself but that doesn't mean we won't punch in a couple lines of our own.

A Tennessee bureaucrat named Bill Boner has been accused of sexual harassment. The charges are something he categorically denies. Boner, 73, won’t be stepping down from his post and will run for re-election even though two female employees claim they were fired as a result of complaining about being sexually harassed.  But it gets better. The women, Kathy Dumm and Janie Zumbro, are 54 and 70, respectively. They filed complaints with the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission in Nashville. Although he won’t talk about the matter other than to say his wife of 50 years has been negatively effected by the claims. Poor Mrs. Boner.

Boner, a tax assessor, blames the fact that he raised (BONER PUN!) property taxes to what he claimed is a fair rate is why he is the target of a witch hunt. “There have been people coming after me ever since,” he said. “I knew it would be rough, but I had no idea it would be this rough.”

Dumm and Zumbro claim he was flirty and trying to be funny. They said he is not malicious, but unwise, as he often looked down the shirts of females, made grunting noises and comments about “sex with farm animals, and not needing a wife for sexual satisfaction.”

Poor Mrs. Boner's sheep.

[Via Murfreesboro Post]