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Man Pulls a Gun After Neighbor Farts Too Loud

Teaneck Police Department

Noisy neighbors are bad enough, but when one passes gas so loudly that you can hear it through your front door, what’s someone to do but whip out a gun and go all ‘Dirty Harry’ on the dude?

Daniel Collins Jr., 72, already thought his 47-year-old neighbor was too loud, but when he heard the guy fart as he walked by Collins’ apartment in Teaneck, N.J., the older man had apparently had enough. According to police, he allegedly (but probably) pointed a silver revolver at the neighbor and said, “I’m going to put a hole in your head.”

After the flatulent guy unclenched, he called the cops, who found a .32-caliber Taurus revolver — fitting the description the neighbor gave investigators — under the seat of Collins’ car. He was charged with a string of offenses including terroristic threats and aggravated assault.

Maybe he should’ve just put some Beano in the neighbor’s mailbox instead.

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