Screw that old adage about loving your neighbor like you love yourself. Two Gainesville, Florida men engaged in the antithesis of neighborly behavior. They got into a heated battle about rent, with one of the combatants smearing poop-stained underwear in the other man's face during the argument. Who needs fisticuffs when you've got feces?

Police reports show that Johnny Broestler, 46, entered the trailer of Walter Liddell, 60, demanding money to give the landlord. The trailer! Now it all makes sense.  Poor Mr. Liddell was napping when Broestler burst in and made his monetary demands. An argument ensued and the poop hit the fan, er, face. Broestler grabbed dirty drawers and smeared them on Liddell’s face. The owner of the soiled underwear remains unclear.

"The underwear was full of poop, and he was trying to wipe it all over me," Liddell said. Liddell didn’t take any crap, retaliating by pushing the underwear back in Broestler's direction. Another neighbor broke up the fecal fracas. The neighbor is a much braver soul than we are -- we’d have let these two sort their shite out on their own.

"When the cops came by, [Broestler] was still covered with the poop," Liddell said. "He never tried to wash himself to get it off."

Deputy Craig Smith, who deserves hazard pay for dealing with this crap, reported that Liddell had feces on his neck and ear. He was escorted to jail and charged with battery.

Honestly, who needs this crap in their life?