Matthew McConaughey has apparently parlayed his Academy Award-winning talent into a new career as a motivational speaker.

Everyone's favorite "Alright, alright, alright" performer recently returned to his alma mater, the University of Texas, to speak to the football team, for reasons that remain perfectly unclear (maybe he's in town shooting 'Dallas Cowboys Buyers Club?').

The Longhorns are a pedestrian 2-2, but everything is bigger in Texas, so they must be making mediocrity huge. If McConaughey can drone on and on to the team, we say Ricky Williams should be allowed on set when and if McConaughey's watershed film 'Dazed and Confused' is remade.