You didn't want to be Jordany Valdespin on Monday. A utility player for the New York Mets, Valdespin hit a home run off Detroit Tigers' ace Justin Verlander to lead off the teams' spring training game on Monday. Great day, right? Well, just wait.

hit him in the groin

Verlander is capable of throwing 100 mph, so Valdespin was lucky. Sort of. Let's hope that — once he's done with that ice pack on his crotch — he employs common sense next time he's facing such a threat to his manhood. Oh, the Mets won the game 11-0, even though Valdespin most certainly lost by two.