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Milwaukee Brewers Will Wear the Most Ridiculous Uniforms You’ve Ever Seen

Brewers
Milwaukee Brewers

You remember the Milwaukee Brewers, right?

They’re that team that was booted out of the American League in 1998 for residency in the crowded National League Central. The team that makes the playoffs once every quarter of a century or so. The team Prince Fielder abandoned for the greener pastures of Detroit. Detroit!

The Brewers are now also known for choosing uniforms that are ridiculous. The Fightin’ Ryan Brauns have unveiled new unis they will wear during a pair of exhibition games in March. All we can say is, well, nothing, because we’re speechless. Somewhere, Rollie Fingers is shaking his head before he goes back to trimming that great ‘stache of his.

Milwaukee Logo
Milwaukee Brewers

The logo is a hot mess. It features the name ‘Milwaukee Brewers’ in a circle. Underneath is a map of Wisconsin, because the geographically illiterate don’t know that Milwaukee is in Wisconsin. Over the map is the image of what can best be described as a slightly overweight Tin Man from ‘The Wizard of Oz’ swinging a bat. Actually, it’s an homage to “Barrel Man,” who appeared on the team’s logo when Milwaukee got baseball back in 1970.

The real tragedy is the hat, where the the Tin Man gets a starring role, in what is sure to fuel a marketing frenzy among fans desperate to wear a cap that makes them look like they follow a team in the Robot Baseball League.

Ah, the lengths teams will go to in order to make an extra buck on merchandise. Think about it: a minor league outfielder who will wind up getting cut from Double A and finish the year working as a shoe salesman will wear these uniforms just so the Brewers can get these hats into Lids in your local mall and make a few extra bucks.

The logo and uniform were chosen as the result of the very cleverly-titled Design a Youniform Contest letting fans pick the design. The winner is identified as Ben (hmm, no last name – guess the team wants to protect his identity from angry fans). He’s from Richfield, Minnesota, which is interesting, considering the team had to cross state lines to pick a winner. Guess graphic design isn’t a talent among the populace of the cheese state.

Baseball is a game where people appreciate the history, so we say the Brewers, who have a colorful history when it comes to fashion, should’ve returned to the iconic “M” and “B” in a mitt look that the great Paul Molitor is sporting below. Ironically, that was also the result of a fan contest. Geez, do the Brewers outsource everything? Pretty soon, they’ll choose their next manager by reality show.

Paul Molitor
Jonathan Daniel, Getty Images

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