Classic Tale of Moby Dick is Now Available For Your iButt
A mystery seller going by the name The_Heppcat is eBaying his own personal copy of Moby Dick with a starting bid of $999.95. What makes this edition particularly unique is that The_Heppcat typed the entirety of the novel onto four rolls of toilet paper.
It’s completely ludicrous to charge a new Macbook’s worth of money for toilet paper, but here’s hoping The_Heppcatt sells this masterpiece. Given how long it probably took him to type out the entire book, it’s safe to say he earned every penny.
If Herman Melville were alive today, he’d probably be proud of the fact that America went from a country that burns literature to one that merely cleans poop with it. Cultural baby steps. Of course, back in high school, many of us would rather have wiped our butts with some of the dry and stale assigned readings. There’s no better way to protest an English assignment quite like using it to mop up the intestinal havoc brought on by the Volcano Menu at Taco Bell.