‘My Girlfriend Can Only Finish With Toys’ — Ask Dr. Harry Fisch

"Sex with my girlfriend is good, but recently, she says she can only orgasm with a vibrator. Am I doing something wrong or is it her?" -- Nick, 22

One of the major myths about sex is that women will orgasm from penile thrusting alone. It’s just not true. No matter how hard or artfully you bang away, at least half of women will never orgasm. That’s because female orgasm has very little to do with the vagina and everything to do with the clitoris, which usually needs direct, rhythmic stimulation.

Having a girlfriend who’s willing and able to give herself an orgasm with a vibrator is actually a great sign. She knows what turns her on. You need to relax. Incorporate a vibrator into sex if you want. And experiment with finding ways to giver her an orgasm yourself with your fingers or tongue. Also, try different positions. Rear-entry can be good because the woman can stimulate herself easily while you’re inside her—that’s harder to do with the classic man-on-top “missionary” position.

With an open, playful attitude the challenge of finding the best techniques or positions to bring a woman maximum pleasure can be a source of pleasure in itself!

Dr. Harry Fisch is a board certified urologist at New York Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Medical College of Cornell University. Each week, he’ll answer reader questions in an effort to get guys to ‘man up about health.’