‘My Girlfriend Can’t Get Wet’ — Ask Dr. Harry Fisch

My girlfriend says she likes sex, but she doesn't get wet and she says it hurts when I try to enter her.  What can we do? -- Danny Gee, Maryland 

First of all, make sure you’re giving her enough time and stimulation to become wet.  Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay!  If she still doesn’t lubricate, she might have some kind of hormonal imbalance, she could be going through menopause, or she might be taking a medication that interferes with vaginal lubrication.

By far the easiest solution to vaginal dryness is the use of a high-quality lubricant. There are dozens of types of lubricants on the market, and, believe me, they’re not all high-quality.  Some contain hormones. Some are oil or petroleum based (which can destroy condoms, are difficult to wash off, and may stain).  Some contain anesthetics.  And many simply don’t work as promised (they dry out quickly or simply aren’t “slippery” enough).  Click here for a lubricant I do recommend to patients.

Try gently massaging a drop of gel onto the clitoris and/or vulva.  The male partner can use the lubricant on his penis as well, which is especially helpful if he is using a condom.  Use as much or as little as needed to achieve pleasurable, sensual intercourse.

Dr. Harry Fisch is a board certified urologist at New York Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Medical College of Cornell University. Each week, he’ll answer reader questions in an effort to get guys to ‘man up about health.’