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Your Wait For a Purple Nintendo 3DS Is Nearly Over


Nintendo first tempted you with Cosmo Black and Aqua Blue 3DSs, but you didn’t budge. Then it trotted out Flame Red and Pearl Pink, and you just rolled your eyes. Now Nintendo has learned its lesson and has dreamed up the color that will weaken your knees and inspire you to part with that $170 you’ve been so stingy with.

The new color: Midnight Purple. Which is most definitely the best purple, more appealing than 3 a.m. purple or noon purple. It will never compare to Deep Purple, but really, who or what can?

Even though we already own 3DSs, which have since taken on the shade of Ashtray Dust since we tired of Kid Icarus: Uprising, are still in fine working order, we still see them as inadequate because they’re not purple.

The Purple Downtime Eater purples-up shelves May 20. We’d feel sorry for those who are holding out for Old Newspaper Yellow, Faketan Orange or Mucas Green, but those people are just morons who can’t appreciate the beauty of purple.

Or the beauty of sarcasm.

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