Breakfast will never be the same.

Willis Gene Burdette, 72, may sound like an assassin, but he's something much worse more vile. Burdette, is in a heaping pot of trouble for, well, why don't we just let The Smoking Gun explain it?

A grand jury this week voted to indict an elderly Ohio man on charges that he snuck into the home of a 61-year-old woman and ejaculated into a bottle of orange juice that he then shook up and returned to a refrigerator shelf, according to court records."

Yeah, Minute Maid met the minute man. Kind of makes you want to switch to pineapple juice in the mornings, right?

The X-rated incident took place in August in the town of Massillon.

Burdette reportedly used a key he obtained in the woman's shed before he went about doing his business in a tool room (this is not the drilling that you expect to happen there) near the garage because if there's one thing that makes a man want to touch himself in randy ways it's being surrounded by hack saws, socket wrenches and caulking guns (one saving grace: he didn't get his winkie trapped in a vise).

Burdette, in an inspired bit of multi-tasking, somehow managed to open a bottle of orange juice, into which he promptly deposited his love juice. Surveillance video caught Burdette in the act. It's unclear if he knew the victim, but, really, if he did does that make what he did any less disgusting?