Earliest Smut Magazine Was Written on Limestone
Before men had the luxury of using internet porn to appease their animalistic urges, they apparently engraved “Hoo-Ha” images on rocks for sexual posterity. That’s right; according to a recent archeological discovery in southern France it is now believed that the earliest smut magazine may have been nothing more than a 3,000-pound block of limestone.
The National Academy of Sciences reveals that this discovery of engravings and paintings, believed to have been done by members of Aurignacian culture, was created 37,000 years ago. This makes them slightly older than the world’s earliest known cave art found in southeastern France.
While some motifs found at the site consisted of “zoomorphic” and “geometric” engravings, multiple images of the female vulva as well as many additional images of the female sex anatomy were also found.
According to Nicholas Conrad, a paleoanthropologist at the University of Tübingen who reported the find, the sex organ art found in southern France resembles a figurine found in a southwestern German cave depicting a woman with “large projecting breasts” and a pronounced vulva and labia majora visible between the woman’s legs.
“All place an emphasis on sexual attributes and lack emphasis on the legs, arms, face and head, made all the more noticeable in this case because a carefully carved, polished ring -- suggesting that the figurine was once suspended as a pendant -- exists in place of a head.”
He also adds that although the images found recently in France are similar in style to those found in Germany, it remains unclear whether men or women created the artwork or if it was used for ritualistic purposes.
When it came time to get down to business, how did they get the giant rocks into the bathroom?