10 Expressions to Work Into Your Daily Vocabulary
A guy's choice of words can be an instant giveaway as to his testosterone levels.
Listen, it's not like we have anything against the words 'potpourri' or 'yummy', there's just no avoiding the fact they're pretty damn feminine. There are certain words that instantly amp up those man points, and for the sake of our manhood, we need to take full advantage of those.
Here are 10 expressions you need to work into your daily vocabulary.
- An expression of negative surprise, disgust, or straight up frustration
- A street version of the phrase, “What the fu*k?!”
“You erased my TiVo setting for ‘Keeping Up With the Kardashians? Dafuq?!”
Douch·lord [doosh lawrd]
- A man who possesses massive douchbag behavior which includes, but is not limited to: wearing sunglasses at night, using the word “bro”, and sporting an Ed Hardy shirt to the bar
- He who reigns above all other douchebags currently present
“What’s up with Carl in accounting? He got a dragon tattoo on his bicep and those diamond studs are blinding me.”
“What a douchelord.”
Love ta·co [luhv tah-koh]
- A slang term for a woman’s cooch, vag, or muffin that combines man’s two favorite things-- sex and food
“Johnny’s girlfriend informed him via sexting that he will be eating a love taco later tonight.”
Sex·u·al mus·tard [sek-shoo-uhl muhs-terd]
- An innovative phrase used to describe a man’s grand finale
- A clever man term that entices women to head south
“Would you like some sexual mustard on that love taco?”
- A term used to describe anything that is entirely unclever
- Unoriginal, stupid
“I think I'm going to wear jean cutoff shorts on my date with Jenna. I hear chicks love them."
- A term used to describe something that lands just below ‘very crappy’ standards
- Appropriate for situations that could be worse but are still considered pretty bad
- Similar to a shart-- right between an innocent fart and a full-on shit
“You left me alone with that wall-eyed girl last night at the bar. Man, that was sharty of you.”
- An underused term traditionally assigned to ‘bombshell’ women
- Bangin’, extremely hot, highly sexy
“Dude, your sister’s so effin’ hot. What a smokeshow!”
- To be extremely cut, ripped, or jacked
- The result of 8-hour gym days in which one appears to most likely be using steroids
- A term used to describe a muscular douchelord
“I’ve gotta run to GNC for today's massive tub of protein powder. I’m gonna be yolked.”
- Used to describe anything and anyone, from a bangin’ smokeshow to a sharty piece of steak
- A universally applicable term traditionally said in a Philly accent
“Man, check out that sexy jawn over there!”
"I'm hungry as hell. Let's go get some cheesesteak jawns."
- To be of questionable, undesirable, or effed-up condition
- Also used to describe someone who is both junky and skanky
"Waking up next to your one night stand can be a difficult situation to escape as is, but when the lady is janky, that in itself is janky."