Emily Maynard was named 'The Bachelorette' for the upcoming season, much to the delight of millions of female viewers and all the men forced to watch it every Monday night. Emily is hot, sweet and really does deserve a happy ending. Too bad she won't get it on a TV show.

It's was obvious around the middle of Brad's season that the producers wanted Emily to be the next Bachlorette. Sure, it would have been nice ratings for her to win Brad's heart and possibly have a wedding special, but even the producers of 'The Bachelor' know that the show doesn't actually work. People don't stay together. Anyway, they finally got their wish, Emily is on the show and now thirty-or-so men will try to win her affection. And once again, it won't work. She'll pick someone, they'll try to start a life, he'll smell the scent of fame and it will all come crashing like a plane...OK...not finishing that analogy. You catch our drift.Emily will find love eventually, just not on a reality dating show.

Sorry, for the in depth discussion of 'The Bachelorette.' Now back to half-naked women and fart jokes.