Some Southern California residents have their panties in a wad over the recent insurgence of a fleet of bright pink vans around their neighborhood advertising “Topless Maids” with the phone number 818-666-HUGE printed on the van’s exterior. We're mostly upset that we can't claim that awesome phone number.

According to Burbank’s assistant city manager Joy Forbes, ever since Los Angeles instituted a ban on mobile advertising, Burbank has been inundated countless four-wheeled solicitations for things like one-hour massages and topless maid services.

"It doesn't project the image of the city that we think we have," said Forbes. “These types of advertising vehicles don't reflect the image of Burbank that most people have."

City officials say these vans do not have a permit to operate a business within the city of Burbank and they are uncertain whether these businesses actually represent legitimate activity in other areas. While it sounds like a lot of fun, we doubt there is anything legitimate about renting out topless toilet-scrubbers.

After conducting a DMV search of one of the vans in question, authorities say the vehicle is owned by Sami Ammari, who had the van registered for use by a gardening service prior to his topless house cleaning venture. That’s right kids, he went from trimmin' bush to slingin' boob; and they said the American dream was dead.

Ammari says he is not breaking any laws because he is “not advertising anything," adding that the van is strictly for transportation purposes.

While that may be true, Burbank city officials say they are currently writing some legislation that will help regulate mobile advertising, but they want to be careful not to impose on a Ammari's First Amendment rights. After all, prostitution may be illegal in most places, but boobies aren't!

Way to keep it constitutional, Burbank.

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