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True Story: Guy Took His Wife’s Last Name

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Here at Guyspeed, we’re a bit divided on the whole marriage topic.  

Some of us are happily married, while others (Jackie) think the idea of sleeping with one person for the rest of our entire lives sounds like a bizarre instrument of torture. Male or female, though, most of us really love our last names.

For example: Jackie and Chris’ last names, Mancini and Illuminati, respectively, both sound like bad ass gangster and/or old-timey movie star names. Jackie is also the last of the Mancini line in her family, so it dies with her unless she passes it on. Kinda like Herpes, but with less itching and awkward phone calls. Just kidding – Herpes doesn’t die, please wear a condom.

The standard ‘progressive’ solution to the name-change debacle is for both parties to keep their own names, which seems like a good compromise. Still, those who follow this route usually give the father’s name to their offspring.

So when we heard that DJ [TANNER] took his lady’s last name on their wedding day, we were intrigued. He is the first man we’ve ever known to do it, and we wanted to know why. Here’s what he had to say:

GS: So, first-off, what was the name you ditched?

DJ TANNER: Smith! Need I say more? It seems like the right move on my part. I can’t begin to count all the times someone has said, “Oh I bet your Dad’s name is John, is your Mom’s name Pocahontas?” The worst part? My Dad’s name is John.

GS: You weren’t attached to your name at all, having grown up with it?

DJ TANNER: Once you find out that the true origin of your last name is actually French-Canadian, and not Irish-Scottish like you had been told, starting over is not such a bad thing. (Sorry Quebecians!) And anyway, when you hear your name repeatedly uttered in a Ben Stein-voice during attendance for so many years, it’s time for an upgrade.

GS: Smith is a pretty common name, did you have many cases of mistaken identity?

DJ TANNER: While working in radio has done some damage to my credit rating, having the last name Smith only amplified those issues. It’s all fun and games until someone gets you mixed up with the other Smith’s.

GS: What has been the biggest benefit of the name switch?

DJ TANNER: Getting off the grid! Changing up your last name makes it really hard for people to find you, if all they have is your last name. Sucks for them! No, I didn’t change my last name to hide from creditors. (Legal Disclaimer.

GS: What is the usual reaction, when people find out that you took your wife’s name?

DJ TANNER: There’s nothing wrong with coming off progressive, and being “that guy” who didn’t make his wife change her name. Trust me, it puts a smile on her face, which will only keep you smiling, if you get my drift.

GS: You have step-kids too, right? Were they a part of the decision?

DJ TANNER: Definitely. When you’re adopting your step-kids it’s really the easiest and most effective way to keep the family name going. That is primarily why I chose to do it.

GS: Any advice to readers considering their name-change options?

DJ TANNER: So you screwed up your life with this last name, it happens. While changing it won’t make your born again, it’s a pretty good fresh start.

Here’s a tip from the editors — Marry someone with the same last name. You’ll never have to think about this issue, and as a bonus, you can trick your kids into thinking that they are inbred.

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