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What Your Vintage Concert Tour T-Shirt Says About You

Vintage U2 Shirt

Nowadays it’s easy to find a vintage t-shirt of your favorite band. Websites and online auctions make it simple to track down a rare, classic shirt that you couldn’t find anywhere else, but it’s going to cost you.

But what about the guys who didn’t buy a shirt from the ’70s to be trendy and just haven’t gotten around to updating their wardrobe in three decades.

Here’s a breakdown of what your vintage concert shirt says about you.

Van Halen



Vintage Concert Shirts 1

I placed in an arm wrestling tournament at a pub more than once. Never quite won the championship, but I definitely didn’t finish last.

The Who



Vintage Concert Shirts 2

I didn’t watch the halftime show of the 2010 Super Bowl because if I did it would have tarnished any memory I had of a one time great band.

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band



Born in the USA tour shirt

I’m pretty sure my parents liked Springsteen so I bought this thing on eBay for $150. It’ll make me cool, right?

Jimmy Buffett



Vintage Concert Shirts 5

I have spent over $100 at a Tommy Bahama on one visit and may or may not own a plush parrot that I bring out when I’ve had too many drinks.




Vintage Concert Shirts 6

I can sing into a hairbrush better than anyone on the radio, but if I’m in front of anyone I can’t quite pull it off.

REO Speedwagon



Vintage Concert Shirts 7

I’ve watched episodes of MASH to try and find a deeper meaning or discover what the writers were really trying to tell us.

Elton John & Billy Joel



Vintage Concert Shirts 8

I support equal marriage rights and drunk driving.

Elvis Costello



Vintage Concert Shirts 9

I will only watch the first five seasons of The Simpsons. The other seasons are insulting.

Waylon Jennings



Vintage Concert Shirts 10

I have a tattoo somewhere on my body of a skull and crossbones, except the bones are replaced with pistols, and the skull is wearing a cowboy hat.




Vintage Concert Shirts 11

I got a few weird looks going to the Revlon counter asking for a lipstick that would match my skin tone, but that’s the price of rock ‘n roll.

Motley Crue



Vintage Concert Shirts 12

It’s hard for me to reach the gas pedal in my Trans-Am because my leather pants made it difficult to move my legs from side to side.

The Police



Vintage Concert Shirts 13

I bought a saxophone when I was 19 because I thought one day I could be the final member of the band.

Phil Collins



Vintage Concert Shirts 14

I’ve daydreamed about how cool it would be if Phil Collins had me sit center, front row and sang a song to me about watching a teen drown.

Lionel Ritchie



Vintage Concert Shirts 15

I may or may not still own a pair of gloves with the fingers cut out of them. I also aspired to dance with those guys who perform in the subway. I also tried to dance on the ceiling once. Broke my tailbone.

Jeff Beck



Vintage Concert Shirts 24

My kids were conceived during a guitar solo while we were high.

The Band



Vintage Concert Shirts 16

I’ve ingested more breaths of marijuana than I have breaths that don’t include marijuana.

Guns N’ Roses



Vintage Concert Shirts 17

One time I asked one of my bros “How do my bangs look? Are they big enough?”

Monsters of Rock Tour



Vintage Concert Shirts 18

I was suspended from high school for smoking in the bathroom and telling the principal to “stuff it” more times than I made the honor roll.

Neil Young



Vintage Concert Shirts 20

I still listen to my music on a Walkman because I think iPods destroy the quality of the music.

John Cougar Mellencamp



Vintage Concert Shirts 21

I never stopped calling him Johnny Cougar. Ain’t that America?

Ozzy Osbourne



Vintage Concert Shirts 22

I’ve at least contemplated biting the head off of a live chicken while being covered in blood.

Michael Jackson



Vintage Concert Shirts 23

I spent more time learning to moonwalk than I did watching MJ trial coverage.

NEXT: The Huge Differences Between a 16th Birthday in 1984 & 2013

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