In this mesmerizing clip, chubby wannabe ninja Will Keith combines his scary love of blades with an irrational hatred of water bottles. The result is almost three minutes of intense bottle-slicing carnage and mayhem.

Why exactly does Keith do this? Maybe he's upset about the toll water bottles take on the environment. Or maybe he's preparing for a fight against brain-eating, water bottle zombies. Either way, this guy has a serious axe (pun!) to grind.

In one disturbing segment, Keith, whose collection includes two katanas, three machetes, two Nordic axes and a Ka-Bar tactical knife, stabs a water cooler jug at close range like it just killed his best friend. Then, he halves the jug with a mighty swing from a samurai sword strapped to his waist.

Remind us never to make this backyard ninja angry.