Woman Gets Super Glued to the Toilet Seat at Walmart

While we’d all like to think a group of thrill fiend rejects have been running a muck inside the farthouse walls of eastern Kentucky’s neighborhood Walmart armed with nothing but a sick sense of humor and a couple of tubes of Super Glue, it’s just not the case. Although it would make one woman’s situation of being glued to a Walmart toilet seat much more bearable.

That’s right, an unidentified woman sat down on the toilet of the Monticello store and could not get her butt up for a good 60 minutes. It is worth mentioning that her prolonged use of the Wal-pooper was not due to having a lunch-gone-bad at the Taco Bell earlier in the day — she was super-stuck!

Reportedly, paramedics were called to the scene after someone heard a woman screaming from the ladies room. Lucky for her, someone actually recognized her voice and called for help. Or maybe, not lucky her.

According to reports, even though medics took an hour to remove her from the toilet, the toilet seat was not actually removed until she was taken to the emergency room of a nearby hospital. Now that is a sticky situation! (Sorry, we couldn’t help ourselves!)

While officials speculate that the gluing was done intentionally, our team of experts concur without a shadow of a doubt that there ain’t no way in H-E-double-hockey-sticks to Super Glue a person’s back crack to a toilet seat on accident.

With that being said, Lt. Matthew Donnelly of the Elkton Police Department in Kentucky says that putting Super Glue on a toilet is a crime and the guilty party could be looking at second-degree ASSault charges.