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Woman Marries Dog Because the World Is Crazier Than You Realize

“Get your paws off me!”

That’s probably what one bride was telling her new hubby (and, yes, we’re aware how lame that joke is, but it sure beats the one about getting some tail on the honeymoon, right?).

Meet Mangli Munda, an 18-year-old girl in India. Like many teenagers, she has her whole future ahead of her, with one four-legged exception: she’s married. To a dog.

Munda was forced to tie the knot with the pooch by “holy men” in her village who told her parents that she was cursed and this was a way to get rid of the bad luck.

As Munda explains:

I’m not happy with this marriage….I am marrying a dog because the villagers believe that my evil spell will be passed on to the dog. After that is done, the man I will marry will have a long life.”

Pity that future husband. You think you’ve got issues with your in-laws? This guy is going to have to contend with people who had no qualms about letting their little girl walk down the aisle with a groom whose hobbies include licking its crotch, drinking from the toilet and scouring the dumpster for food.

What’s worse is the dog was a stray. That’s the equivalent of your parents demanding you marry a hobo, except there isn’t much chance the hobo will go dookie on your kitchen floor, mainly because said hobo will probably be thrilled to have indoor plumbing.

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