10 Worst Video Game Weapons Ever
We had so much fun putting together the best video game weapons list, we decided to compile a list of the 10 worst video game weapons ever. The weapons that probably made you give up your faith in gratuitous violence.
Weapons and video games go together like bread and butter. But, sometimes the butter is sour and no matter how good the bread is, it still leaves a terrible taste in your mouth. Sometimes weapons are so bad that you have to throw your hands up in frustration and disgust. Maybe they don’t aim properly, or maybe they just don’t do enough damage. They might just be stupid. .
Whatever the reason may be, we hate them oh so much. Below is a list of the 10 Worst Video Game Weapons Ever:
What was the point? All it did was hose down splicers like a mutant wet tee shirt contest. It was bulky, weak, and the reload time left enough of a gap for a splicer to come up and stab you to death with a plastic spork. You were better off just equipping the plasmids that it mimicked anyway. At least those were useful.
While punching a demon in the face is incredibly badass, it isn’t the most effective way banishing them to the oblivion from whence they came. If you were even close enough to one of these horned beasts, it was more likely that you’d have your spleen torn out through your forehead. Brass knuckled in Doom was like bringing a flowers to a thermonuclear war.
While the Giant’s Knife was certainly big and powerful enough to live up to its name, it broke in half the moment it grazed a slightly stiff piece of grass. How were you supposed to lay waste to grassy patches in search of hearts and magica with nothing but a sword hilt. It was even more useless in battle. As soon as you opponent looked at the sword, it snapped itself in fear of actually being used. For being a constant broken piece of refuse in your adventure pouch, the Giant’s Knife weighs in at number 8 on out list of the 10 worst video game weapons ever.
Castlevania didn’t have to be an arduous journey into frustration if it wasn’t for that accursed whip. It was weak and it had a horrible delay. You’d press the attack button more in hopes that your character would feel like swinging the whip. The game had to leave time for “Hamlet” Belmont to contemplate “To Whip or Not To Whip.” Once he finally decided that it would be best to attack the advancing skeleton, the whip would lance out an attempt to tickle the bonehead to pieces. This whip was one of the reasons that Castlevania had such a high rage quit to fun ratio.
While most of the weapons in Dead Rising 2 were immensely entertaining and equally effective, the deck of cards seemed like a gag thrown in just to frustrate us. You’re trapped in a store with a herd of undead window shopping for your brain and you can only lay your hands on a deck of cards. If you could get the hungry beasts to sit down for a game of poker, you might be able to shoot them with a small pistol for cheating. But no, all you could do was flick them in their general direction. Most of the time you missed, and when you did land a hit, we’re sure the zombie giggled quietly to itself.
A bouquet of flowers is useful when trying to woo a coy strumpet, but in the hands of a homicidal maniac, they are less than useful. As Nikko, you have an armory of weapons and vehicles at your disposal, but strangely enough, a bunch of flowers is part of your arsenal. I barely does any damage and is usually good for a laugh. Considering Nikko’s attitude toward dating and proclivities towards violence, it would make sense that he has the weapon of choice for soap opera domestic violence.
What can you hit with a green shell? Nothing, unless it moves right in front of you. They were only good when being used as a spinning force field against banana peels. But even then, they would always let one slip through just as you’re about to cross the finish in first. Green shells were often your worst enemy as well. Once firing off a round of them down the track, they would find a wall and change allegiance. That wall would turn them against their original owner and make you wish you never stumbled upon that upgrade. We’ve figured out the trick, aim for a wall with the intention committing turtle assisted suicide and you’ll finally hit a fellow racer.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was a great game, as long as you didn’t play as Raphael. His little ninja forks were more suited to shoveling pizza into his face rather than skewering Shredder’s minions. They had no reach and when you got close enough to land a hit, a baddie would take a swipe and wipe out half of your health. They were an exercise in frustration. Only masochists played this game as Raphael.
You might as well try to cuddle a supermutant to death.
We thought the Klobb might have been broken. You would aim in one direction and it would fire in another. You’d unload two whole clips into the head of some unsuspecting henchman just to let him notice you were there. Once you had his attention, you could politely ask him to lay down dead because that was more effective than using the Klobb. The only redeeming factor for the Klobb would be if it was at least entertaining to use. It wasn’t. It was only entertaining for your friends when you picked one up in multiplayer. For being utterly and completely useless in every single way, Goldeneye’s Klobb makes it to the top of our list of the 10 worst video game weapons ever.