Name: Roberta Puddles

Location: Seattle

Occupation: "Phone actress"

Spends Her Free Time: You're lookin' at it.

Interests: Modeling rain couture, challenging horrified strangers to puddle jumping contests, posing for photos with new friends.

Skills: Making people feel comfortable.

Into: Translucent garments, positive body image, parking lots and '50 Shades of Grey.'

Not Into: The cops.

6 Things She Can’t Live Without: Freedom, sun showers, hugs, her galoshes collection, Dairy Queen and her public defender.

Her Motto: "No umbrella, no problem. Know umbrella, know problem."

HEY, GUYS! This is not a real profile. It was made up for the sheer entertainment that comes from browsing through pictures of, well, hot messes. BTW! If you or someone you know should be one of our Hot Messes of the Day, send us a quick email at jackie [@] guyspeed.com.