10 Lamest Video Game Characters Ever
Here’s the 10 lamest video game characters ever to make your ire rise and controller snap in annoyance.
Each of their voices are like Edward Scissorhands fumbling with a chalkboard. Everything that comes out of their hollow heads makes your blood tip the boiling point in your veins. It was inevitable that the video game industry would crank out some of the worst characters ever coded. But, each serve their purpose — to spark heated discussions in coffee shops and bars by providing fodder for your frothing hate.
Let’s start our list of 10 lamest video game characters ever.
10. Claptrap (Borderlands)
If we have to watch him dance one more time, no amount of randomly generated guns will be able to help him.
9. Slippy (Star Fox 64)
Although the rookie in Fox’s crew, Slippy was arguably the most annoying because he constantly gets himself into trouble. Trouble that Fox had to save him from. Slippy’s chorus of “Help Fox!” was never ending. Just as users were about to complete a level, Slippy would find himself in trouble again. That’s why we always picked him off in Corneria.
8. Baby Mario (Yoshi’s Island)
One simple noise can ruin an otherwise great game. The era piercing wail of Baby Mario permeates Yoshi’s Island every time you barely graze an enemy. We know Mario is a beloved character, but we are not too fond of his childhood. Imagine if he burst into tears every time Bowser kidnapped Peach.
7. Princess Yorda (ICO)
It’s standard in video games that the Princess is never able to take care of herself. But, she usually has the good sense to wait quietly in the castle for you to come and save her. Not Princess Yorda — the damsel that literally needed her hand held throughout the entire rescue. She also attracts shadow monsters like moths to a porch light. And whenever they show up, she just stands around and expects you to fight them all off. At this point, the shadow beasts can have her, we’re tired of holding hands.
6. Tingle (Legend of Zelda Series)
He’s the creepy old fanboy in a child’s costume that is always running around Comic Con.
5. Ashley Graham (Resident Evil 4)
Of course the President’s daughter was kidnapped, but you’d think she’d do a little more to help herself when confronted with a hoard of T-virus infected Spaniards. But no, she sits back and waits for Leon to take care of everything. Get in the dumpster Ashley, we’ll let you out when you grow some AI.
4. Vanille (Final Fantasy XIII)
During the design phase, Vanille’s creators must have crossed the wires in her brain linking emotion to speech. Her unfailing upbeat chirp was enough to drive players mad in an already maidenly long game. Half of her dialogue spewing from her 128-bit skull is completely nonsensical and irrelevant to the already bonkers story in Final Fantasy XIII. Also, what accent is that? She sounds like a 12-year-old doing a bad Crocodile Dundee impression.
3. Pigsy (Enslaved)
Unbelievably, in a game full of less than desirable characters, Piggy stands out like a postulating sore thumb. His ugly mug never failed to crack a pervy joke or leer at Trip. In this respect, he fulfills the role of Dad’s creepy friend quite well. We’re also pretty sure that fake eye has x-ray vision.
2. Navi (Ocarina of Time)
HEY! LOOK! LISTEN! The incessant voice of that winged harpy was enough to drive you mad. You’d drown yourself in Lake Hylia if it meant you wouldn’t have to listen to her point out the painfully obvious. Constantly flitting back and forth like a crazed glowing parakeet on crack, Navi never missed a chance to run your nerves through a cheese grater. Don’t lie — every time you swung your sword, you secretly hoped she’d be “accidentally” in between it and a stalfoe.
1. The Dog (Duck Hunt)
No matter what you do, that dog is always there with a smirk to mock your failure as a digital duck hunter. As a child you think that the universe is in your sippy cup, so sweet and ripe for the taking. Then you encounter that Duck Hunt dog who cruelly points out your shortcomings with aim. We hate that dog.
Well, there you have it, the 10 lamest video game characters. Did we forget any of the worst ones? Let us know down there in the comments.