Women love funny men. Unfortunately, not every guy is as funny as he thinks he sounds. Humor-impaired dudes need a little help from funny females -- especially when it comes to meeting women.

Check out these hilarious opening lines from some of the funniest women in stand-up. Our favorite line comes from the adorable yet hysterical Lauren Ashley Bishop. Just say "Hi, I have a job." No there's an easy pick-up line that any man can use. Except those who actually don't have a job.

Read more great lines from female comics here.