The Academy Awards are Sunday, February 26th and it's only permissible for a guy to know that information if he is up for an Oscar or he is planning something important for the same date. "Well look at that, I've got a prostate exam scheduled for the day of the Oscars. Two events where people walk around like they've had fingers up their butt. It's kismet!"

The celebrities usually gussy it up for the Oscars, borrowing expensive dresses from famous designers, because if it's one thing a celeb can't afford it's clothes. Studies show, the more revealing the dress on Oscar night, the better chance of taking home the golden dildo statue. Don't ask to see those studies, all the documentation was burned after our 78' Gremlin caught fire.

One nominated actress is well aware of that study, and already admitted, she can't wait to show off some major cleavage on Oscar night. Noice! Who is it? Is it Meryl Streep? She looks like a good time, and if she ain't, she could play the role of a woman that is a good time. She is THAT good.

Right, so, really looking forward to that prostate exam...

[Via People]