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According To Website Stats, 33% of Patriots Fans Masturbated After the Super Bowl

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All was not lost for everyone in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts this weekend. We all know by now that their beloved Patriots did not win the Super Bowl, but a prominent adult entertainment website claims they won the ‘Porn Bowl.’ So that is something to build on for next season.

According (you’re out of your mind if you think we’re linking to that), Massachusetts natives visited their site “with a 22% spike at 11 PM, and a 33% spike at 12 AM.” Meanwhile their friends in New York only spiked 16% and 32% respectively.

We are not mathematicians by any means, but what we can conclude from these statistics is that by midnight Patriots and Giants fans were both doing the same thing. So much for victory sex.

[Thanks to reader Harold for the tip.]

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