A man's beard, like his bank account, should only be touched by a woman.

In this video from Ireland, a man walks up to other dudes he doesn't know and tickles their beards. Why? Well, Ireland is a strange land, people, where shepherd's pie is beloved, so we can't truly explain what makes them tick. Just go with it.

The reactions, some of which are NSFW, are as varied as the stages of drunk on St. Patrick's Day. You've got downright angry, amused, confused and alarmed all together in one entertaining clip.

Relatively speaking, touching a beard is not so bad. Imagine if this guy had tried to touch some butts or some junk. Or, heaven forbid, take their phone. You can bet you'd be hearing about riots in Dublin if that happened.