Three Beers for Drinking, Two Turtle Doves and a Partridge in a Pear Tree
Tis’ the season for sucking on candy canes until they could be classified as a prison shank. It’s also the season for getting way too drunk on Christmas cheer at the company holiday Christmas party.
That next morning can be a little awkward, so remember: nothing says “I’m sorry for grabbing your wife’s Christmas hams” better than a six-pack of some of the finest beer the market has to offer. We’ll also help you avoid giving anyone their least favorite style of beer; it doesn’t matter how great you think a beer is, if the person you are giving the beer to isn’t a fan of that style all you have given them is a cluttered fridge.
Style: Amber Ale
Cost: $9.99 a six pack
PALM ale is wonderfully malty ale with a beautiful hazel hue. It’s the perfect gift for the guy who normally drinks domestic light beer because it’s not overly bitter or hoppy. The six packs come in a fully enclosed box so it is easily wrapped. If you cannot find PALM ale at your local beer store try Fat Tire from New Belgium Brewing.
Bell’s Two-Hearted Ale
Style: American-style IPA
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Cost: $9.99 a six pack
Full disclosure, Bell’s Brewery is my favorite brewery in the country. Bell’s is the Bo Jackson of breweries, it can brew anything. Bell’s knows how to brew stellar IPAs, Stouts, Summer Wheat Ales, etc. Make sure the person you are giving the gift of Two-Hearted Ale likes really hoppy beers. IPAs were originally brewed with more hops and higher levels of alcohol in order to make the voyage from Britain to India during British Colonialism before the luxury of refrigeration, hence the hoppiness. Bell’s Two-Hearted Ale has a vivid, citrus-y hoppiness with a satisfying, bitter finish. If you cannot find Bell’s Two-Hearted Ale at your local beer store try Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA.
Saison Dupont Vieille Provision
Cost: $10.99 for a 750mL bottle
Saison Dupont Vieille Provision is the perfect beer for a wine snob. Its carbonation is similar to vintage champagne. Its palate is both fruity and yeasty reminiscent of many sparkling wines. If you cannot find Saison Dupont Vieille Provision at your local beer store try Hoegaarden (pronounced who-gar-den, not like a greenhouse brothel).
With any luck, these awesome beers should soften the blow and make for a perfect apology. If you did something worse, you might want to up the ante to whiskey. We’ll get to that soon.