That better be the most delicious cupcake ever. That cupcake better cure cancer, male impotence and help a man solve any Sudoku puzzle in under a minute. It better be the second coming of delicious to cause a man to ignore two gorgeous women making out right over his shoulder.

Of course, leave it up to a Reddit commenter to think they know best.

"Drunk attention-seeking girls VS cupcake? Cupcake, all the way. Drunk, attention-seeking girls are easy to find at any party. Contrast that with a good cupcake. The cupcake is honest and knows what it is. It doesn't try to impress you because the cupcake knows exactly what it has to offer and is confident that if you pass up on it, someone else is going to take that opportunity. You gotta snap that up when you have the chance or else someone else will and you will never again have a chance to experience that moment of delicious bliss."

Well said sir. We'd still take the girls. No letter to Penthouse ends with "and then I went home with the cupcake."

[Via Reddit]