How much does a massively popular rock star cost on the open market? A DJ in Texas named Frank Pain (inset) seems to think about $35,000 -- and he wants your help so he can buy himself one life-size, breathing Dave Grohl.

Pain has set up a GoFundMe page where he's seeking donations to literally purchase his fellow human being, the Foo Fighters frontman and former Nirvana drummer (among many other gigs). Says Pain, "I'm his biggest fan and figured I can round up enough scratch to purchase him so we can hang out and high five and sh**."

And if it doesn't work out? Like, what if Grohl brings up "the law" and reminds Pain that owning people is, ya know, illegal? Or what if he can't quite get enough contributions to reach his goal?

"Then I'll spend the money on beer," Pain says, "because Dave seems like the kind of person that would want me to drink beer." Well, at least he's honest about it.

On the other hand, Pain told All Access that all funds raised would actually go charity: "I haven't heard from his people yet, but whether I meet him or not, all of the funds raised will go to Autism Speaks, one of Dave's favorite charities." That certainly seems like a better way to get Grohl's attention, but then again, we're not a galactically famous musician, so maybe the beer thing is more persuasive.

(Disclosure: Frank is an employee of Townsquare Media, which also owns and operates this website. This is a fun thing he's doing. Neither we or TSM endorse the GoFundMe fund-raiser, as much as we'd love for Frank to score $35,000 worth of beer.)